KONY 2012

I don't have much to do or say about this. I'm leaving the video link and I strongly suggest you watch it. It is 30 minutes long, but it's heart breaking and it is exactly what the world is outside of our "beautiful" America. I'm not asking for you to watch and become a die hard supporter, but know who this guy is and expose him. Make Kony famous in 2012. I for one have been a supporter of Invisible Children for a couple years. I've never took measures, like: blogging, donating, and networking the foundation, but the debut of this video a couple days ago has made me flash back and regain control of what my intentions were. I, like many, just want to make him known. Ask your parents or friends about him and educate them!! Make him known! It's all about exposing and restoring.

Burned bridges are hard to travel back on

You know, I thought I had people half way figured out. I was wrong.
I was far away from being right. Anything you do now a days is never enough and that takes a toll on emotions. Once you set that bridge up in flames, there is normally no repairing it. It is one of those things that no matter what you do, you'll never cross back. I guarantee you are going to need me sometime either sooner or later. And I dare you. I double dog dare you to TRY to come back for help. Ha it's going to be funny. That's for sure.

Behind Closed Eyes

The other day, I had a conversation with someone that really just blew me away. They told me what all they'd been through in their life and how it has effected them in the long run. I thought I've been through some rough patches before, but never like this. They've had actual fears that I could never imagine. It really just made me think. How many people do we pass everyday? How many of them have hidden troubles? Usually everyone, but what sets people apart from one another is how they cope with these struggles. I've been in super depression before because something small happened to me. This person I talked to has just said "I'm going to make it make me a better person." And that's exactly what that person did. You would never suspect something was wrong with them. I've been in a class with this person for at least 3 months and a whole semester last year, but I never knew. They didn't act like anything bothered them. They were just distant. After our conversation, I see why. I never thought twice about why that person seemed distant from everyone. I assumed it was shyness, which made sense. Many people are shy. It could be more than that, but you never know. I was lucky enough for this person to come out and tell me. If you knew our relationship, you would be confused on why they told me this story of their life. I was shocked when they started talking. Of all people to tell, why me? Anyway, I thought it was an amazing story. The journey they've traveled just made me shiver. They've seen things, experienced things, and sacrificed things most of us will NEVER have to. I don't think this person realized how much of an impact they made on my life. Just by talking for about 15 or 20 minutes, that person showed me what true struggle is. I'm truly thankful for all I have and so is he. We all should just sit back and take a moment to reflect on everything we witness everyday. I know everyone always says "You never know what people are going through....." Heck, I've said it, but really, some of the most content people are the ones with the deepest cuts.

Something Like Fate

I used to never believe fate was real. That "things fall apart so better things can fall together", I was never real big in that. Not that I am now, but it's weird, this life is. Why do things happen randomly? Like when you're thinking of someone and then you hear a song all of a sudden that you and whoever you're thinking of shared. I know this is insanely ridiculous, but really! What causes stuff like this? You could say that my Pandora radio just casually played a random song and ironicly it hit home with me! Yeah that seems legit, but I won't fall for it. I really just don't know! If it is fate, we're not supposed to be able to change our fate anyways, so I say I'll just let it be. Let it do it's thing.

Summer.

It's the middle of July. I seriously can't believe summer is almost over. What a summer it was! Basketball and softball everyday; seeing my friends, if I was lucky. Ah anyways, with every summer ending, a new school year is beginning! Mine will be my sophomore year. The year we all go MIA. I can't complain, I'm ready to lay low.
Okay, so what I'm typing about. Forgiving, but not forgetting.
What does this have to do with summer? Well, last summer I blocked out the world and did my thing with a few people. This summer, I've been with everyone and anyone. I've made new friends, rekindled with old ones, turned enemies into good friends. It's amazing what you can do with forgiveness. What good does holding a grudge do? My dad made a good point today. He said "Ya know, grudges suck for the person holding it. Ever noticed how the person with the problem is the miserable one?" He's completely right. It's hard hating someone, literally. Ha! I just really appreciate this summer for allowing me to get out and talk to new people or turn previous relationships completely around!

It Happens in a Blink

Listen and Feel

It's amazing. You never know what's going to happen in the next minute. You could lose a friend, fall in love, win the lottery, anything. It's not always good.

Tonight, an ex, an awesome friend, an incredible guy, Jayson, found himself in a terrible accident. He didn't deserve it, he didn't ask for it, he didn't cause it, he didn't do a thing, it just happened. Right now, as I await news, he is in a hospital. However, he IS able to respond to people and is in a right mind, as I was told. He is a good guy, but it was just a freak accident.

You never really realize how quick things can just happen. Earlier this week, one of my other friends, was involved in a car accident. He could have been gone in an instant. 

You never know what is going to happen! Ever. We have to start realizing anything can happen at any moment of the day. Just because the sun is out and shining in your life doesn't mean it is for someone else. It's crazy when you think about it. 

Tonight, I was at softball practice. Having a good time with my team, just enjoying the time on the field. A little less than 35 minutes away, tragedy had struck my friend. You just don't know.

We all need to just slow down. Take a step back and look at the big picture. We're not guaranteed an eternity on this Earth. We need to live while we can. Forgive while we can. Most importantly, love while we can. 

Jayson Michael Haynes, we're keeping you in our prayers tonight. Our hearts go out to you, your family, and your best friend, CJ Thomasson. God is with you RIGHT NOW. He is looking over you. He is taking care of your friends, family, and most importantly you. You're so strong and so tough. I know you're being a champ about all of this. We love you. Everyone loves you. I love you. CJ, you too. Keep your head up. I love you and am trying to relate to this feeling you have. You're a great guy and I want you to just remember that.

Self Worth

There are always people in the world that are going to bring you down or at least try to. These people may be strangers, neighbors, "friends", boyfriends/girlfriends, or even family members. I know I would rather a complete stranger try to bring me down. Something about people close to me telling me that I'm not good enough isn't really something I want to hear.

I'm going to try my best not to type a novel right here, but then again I make no promises. 

Sometimes people try to joke around and make fun of you or put you down, but it's not a joke to you. It cuts deep. VERY deep. I can almost guarantee some person just read that and thought "Yeah, right! Get thicker skin. Just get over it." News flash: Some people aren't as high and mighty as you. If there's one thing I absolutely cannot stand, (Well, just one. There's many others) it's when people try to act big and tell you how to live or how to deal with things. We're all different. Sometimes we just need to be heard. Not preached to. 

I've expressed myself a lot through this blog in the past few months, so I think I'll continue. Suicide. It's one of those awkward subjects no one wants to talk about. Too bad, I am. I've thought about it. Not going to lie. Why you ask? People assume because I come off cocky, because I "have it all", because I excel in sports and academics, because I try to be happy all the time, etc., that I'm an amazing wonder wall and they can fire their shots at me. No. I'm a person, I have feelings. I have thin skin. I take most things personally. It's a problem. Before you tell me to fix it, fall back. Way back. People I know and even people I don't know have said things to me that really really reaaaaally burn. -NOTE: I am not trying to be portrayed as a victim here! I'm sharing my story, so others can and will relate.- Now, back to business. I'm not saying that when someone calls me ugly I automatically want to kill myself. By no means is that what I am saying. However, when I continuously get attacked by these kind of people, it adds up. You can't just "shake it off". Not that easy.

Self worth. What this whole thing is about. I've had to remind myself, I've had to find spiritual hope, I've had to get close friends to remind me. WE ALL HAVE SELF WORTH. Self worth is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. The fact that any of us could come to the solution of death by ourselves is plain awful. It happens everyday, though. I am not about to push the bible on you, just a fair warning. However, I will say, there is not a single person on this entire planet that should ever make you feel like being dead would make everyone else happier! It's not true. This is a rather drastic analogy, but remember the "Don't let them know it got to you, it'll just make them feel successful." It's true that when someone starts a rumor about you or insults you, they aren't probably looking to try to kill you, but they are looking for you to be upset. If you sacrifice your own life you are just saying "Hey. You won. Deuces." I know for a fact, it's not worth it.

I guess you could say I have had my fair share of problems in the self worth department. I've been pushed down and kicked around while I'm down. And ya know, it always seems like that hand reaching to help you up is the one that'll shove you back down later. My advice on this problem: Figure out what it is you can do that will make you feel better. Obviously, mine is typing. Find yours. Singing? Shooting hoops? Running? It's out there. Find it and make yourself whole again. On your own, with no help. It's possible. I promise.